Just my Two Cents about these Forums

Quite honestly I think what the Forum readers/writers/responders need to do is grow up a bit and stop using derogatory and inflammatory tones when trying to get others to see their "side".

I have done my best NOT to be someone in the forums that use foolish tactics like posting RL Information, or call someone names or threaten to get them "in-world". But, I haven't always been an angel either. I have myself pushed the limits of the envelope before, and for this, I am truly sorry to LF. I believe LF is the only person I may have attacked or not been so nice to here in the Forums, but if there are others, please accept my apology.

What I think we all need to do from this point forward, is speak in civil tones, share information with one another (without shoving it down throats), be open to new ideas or differing opinions, and when we disagree, just say "We disagree" and move on.

Why must the forums constantly be ablaze with people calling people names, people threatening others, or people doing infantile acts such as posting RL information or posting "news" that wasn't correctly vetted?

The Second Life Community as a whole is a lot nicer in-world, yet when new users read the forums, I can see why they might believe the SL Community is filled with back-biting children.

We all should do our best to see other sides, to at least try and understand why someone is proposing idea A or idea B and not call them "stupid" or anything else derogatory for proposing the idea. I would rather have an area where people were encouraged to post and make comments on the game, rather then have an area where a few "elitist" think they have the right to wreak havoc on all who post.

The reason I post this now is that because I know many of you in-world, and consider you friends there, and cannot understand why you come here and treat others differently from the way you treat people in-world.

I hope everyone here can make a more concerted effort to encourage new ideas and allow differing opinions, instead of calling people names and making others feel like this area is a dangerous place to be.

Please, everyone, we may not agree, but that doesn't mean we have to be uncivil with one another.

In the future, I would like to see everyone try these tips:

1). When someone insults you, apologize to them for upsetting them.

2). When someone calls you a name, apologize to them for making them angry.

3). When someone threatens you, apologize to them for bringing them to that point of rage.

4). No matter what others do, return their anger/hatred with calm, cool, civil tones, and be friendly.

Eventually, the people who do these things over and over again will get tired of not being able to "drag" people into a flame war and will stop. Also, others will see the forums are a decent place to be when not "in-world" and perhaps will post some new ideas that we all find fascinating and exciting!

I, from this point on, will treat each of you with respect and kindness, no matter how you choose to treat me. I hope others will follow in this example, and we can reclaim these forums for more civil discussions.



Thanks!

Who asked you meathead?? If you can't stand the heat..get out of the kitchen!

And yes..I am joking.

I agree that things would go smoother if we all just stated our ideas/opinions, without feeling the need to rip other's ideas/opinions apart.

Of course, I think alot of us would become so bored our heads would explode.

Nicely put Bob thank you for saying it After reading several posts today I feel the forums are turning around for the better. I think its a good sign of postive changes to come where real discussions and solutions can be made.

Hugz

Cat

Nice post Bob and agree with what you say.

Alexa

That is a good post, and I will try to remember your wise suggestions.

coco

This is an excellent suggestion in so many ways. (Forgive me for the severe edit of your quote, but I feel that point #4 is an excellent one-line distillation of the point you explained so well.)


/me tattoos this quote on forehead backwards, installs mirror on top of monitor

I appreciate your efforts to put into practice the Biblical notion, "a cheerful countenance turneth away wrath". It's an interesting thing to try on the furious forums. Let a better man try it than me.

I'm just cast from a different mold. I think sometimes you just have to gird up and fight the good fight.

So since you're now forgiving Lordfly and rebonding with him, I'll pick up the cudgel there for you Bob and let you know I have negrated him, cut his calling card, and left his Grignano group and left his building where I had an office. Why? Because he was truly nasty and despicable to me on the forums after I strove constantly in world to be his friend and sponsor. All I did was respond to his condescending and sarcastic tone on the forums, yet he dished out a load of unreasonable and unfair crap. The last few days were just the straw that broke the camel's back.

Huh. Apology accepted, I think.

LF

I haven't been paying attention to the forums for very long, but I have noticed a distinct pattern in almost every single thread you post in. You are very quick to point out your conflict with others, focusing on how they were unfair to you (particularly in groups) and painting yourself into the frame of "Man versus society." Story exists in the world without you painting yourself into it. You already live it. No need to be narrator.

This is why movies don't use much voice-over, the action carries the weight and the viewers can SEE the story. Anything else bogs the story down and insults the intelligence of the viewers. You don't need to be so forceful in trying to get people to see you in context of "man versus society." If you really live that story then it will show itself naturally. Continuing the old pattern makes people think that you are arrogant (for trying to manipulate their views) or trying to play the victim in order to feel loved. I haven't and don't think that you are stupid, but your reliance on this pattern is stupid when it not only alienates you from others but earns their ire as well.

I know you view yourself as the hero, that's why you talk about "fighting the good fight," but this isn't a wise way to go about it.

I challenge you to never again talk about who did what to you. Let the actions of others speak for themselves. You don't have to prove to everyone that you have been victimized. The people that can see it will, and the others won't no matter what. Focus on your own ideas to communicate and focus on proving why the points you are making are correct. You don't have to point fingers like a gossipy hag in order to live the "man versus society" story-- that only makes the intelligent people annoyed with you too.

If you really can't help yourself, maybe you should try prewriting with an outline and then a rough draft before your final post. Ask yourself, "Can I make this point without talking about what other people have done to me?" Then you can erase all that anger instead of posting it.

I'm moving this thread to Off-Topic for further (meta) discussion. Also, wanted to remind everyone to refrain from personally attacking those you don't agree with in the forums.

I'm moving this thread to Off-Topic for further (meta) discussion. Also, wanted to remind everyone to refrain from personally attacking those you don't agree with in the forums.

Lately, I have found that doing the following 3 things allows me to log off in the evening not extremely pissed off:

Knowing when to walk away. When a thread discussion deteriorates into name calling, ad hominem attacks and threats, its usually pointless to continue. To me, the last word isn't that important. Sometimes its best to just walk away.

Choosing your arguments carefully. If you see a thread with a particularly offensive (to you) title, just don't look at it. Certain residents are just out to bait you into an argument. Don't fall for it.

The Ignore List is your friend. We may keep reading posts from certain residents simply because we like a good train wreck and simply can't ignore these posts. I have reached a point where not only do I not acknowledge certain posters, but said posters have reached my Ignore List. To me, said residnets do not exist. They are dead to me.