Post YOUR Stupidist Human Trick

Common, Admit it - we all have done something stupid in our life time. My stupidist human trick:

Hubby and had just moved into our new house that had, at one time, an alarm system. Which, when we moved in had been discontinued. I never gave it a thought, nor did I want to put another one in.

Hubby worked in Washington DC about 3 weeks out of the month at the time and stayed at his supervisors house instead of a hotel while working there.

I was left at home alone. Left to my own devices.

So... one night at about 2:00 AM I hear my dog under the bed and I think he is crunching on something. So I crawl under the bed and look. While there, I spy this button positioned up underneath the window ledge.

Have you ever had a really strong compulsion to push a button??? Hmmm?

It should be tatooed across my forehead "Poor Impulse Control".

I pushed the button.

At least 4 sirens started a shrill, deafening scream throughout the house. There was a bell on the outside and that started ringing, loudly. All the neighbors lights came on and the phone rang. It was the police. I kept pissing them off because I kept having to scream WHAT? WHAT? into the phone because the shrill from the alarm was so loud.

I finally convinced them that the alarm trigger was a product of the wind (so sorry).

Then, with all the screaming alarms, I had to call hubby's boss's house at 2:00 AM and ask for hubby. It was obvious to his boss's sleep deprived wife that some sort of home crisis had ensued.

When hubby got on the phone, I did what any red blooded wife would do: I lied and told him that the wind had tripped some alarm that I could not get shut off, implying that it was all his fault of course, for not disengaging the damn thing to begin with.

On his instructions, I went up into the attic, disengaged the correct wires (he knew which ones immediately) and at 4:00 AM relieved my poor dogs and neighbors of the deafening alarms.

I spent weeks in agony, trying to figure out a way to tell hubby that I lied. About six months after the incident, while we were cleaning the windows I pointed the button out to hubby. I merely said: "Whatever you do, DON'T push THAT button!!!". The rest he instantly put together by deductive reasoning and not another word was said.

Except... Walking away from the button.. He said: "I didn't think the wind was that strong that night".

So. That's MY stupid human trick. Any others out there?

Um, I broke my arm at 15? Is that stupid? I think it kind of is.

females...

eggs....

one time i was in the green house at my high school working on a project and i sat all my books near the big fans that are on the cooling system. well i had open books on top a few encyclopedias and all those $90 school books. well i needed to maintain the temprature to get my plant to bud so i hit the master pump control and set the dials and i can back in the green house and the fans had sucked all my books up and grinded them into 3902482908420984 pieces and blew them all over the school campus

Well, I seem to have missplaced a $75 dollar gift certificate that I bought weeks ago. I thought I was so smart doing my christmas shoping early. I'd kick myself if I could

Some other wonders:

My roommate had a weird teakettle with a metal cap over the spout that held the whistle. I didn't realize it was detachable (there was a little hole in the top which I thought was the spout) and started pouring into my mug. The cap popped off, releasing a flood of %^&* scalding water all over my arm. Oops.

A few years back I attended the engagement party of a coworker. There was an open bar, but I stuck to diet coke because I was driving home. I hadn't eaten much and the place was stuffy. I felt lightheaded but there was nowhere to sit down. I fainted. Next thing I know I'm lying down with a bunch of people in my face and the 911 dudes someone's cell phone. Mortified, I told them I'd be fine and not to send an ambulence. To this day, mutual aquaintances know me as "the girl who fainted", and my coworker is convinced I was drunk!

It sucks to have a reputation for being the drunk chick that fainted at the company party when you didn't even get the high to go with it. LOL

Next time .... Eat, Drink and be Merry - it's not like you have to worry about being called a lush any longer.

I can fit a quarter in my nose!

Kewl!! Can you post a pic? I love when David Letterman found people who could do stuff like that.

Yes, I will tonight. I've found it's a good way to collect change... "Hey, gimme a quarter, I'll show you how I can shove it up my nose!"

They never seem to want it back.

Stooopid update:

I found the missing gift certificate stored safely in the trunk of my car. I was real prowd of myself... until the latch olding the trunk open failed and lid smacked on my head.

I have moved this over to Off-Topic, please refrain from posting off-topic threads in the General forum. Thanks!

***Bites Lecktor

Years ago I went to a toga party during college. I got very inebriated (I did not drive). I rode their with a friend. Being that togas don't have pockets, I left my keys in the friend's car who drove to the party, intending to retrieve them later on the way home. Well, I didn't notice until it was too late that my friend had left so I accepted a ride home from another friend, forgetting that I didn't have my keys to get in the house. By the time I go to the door and realized the keys were not with me, the friend was gone. I proceeded to remove a screen from a window and open further the partially opened window enough so I could crawl inside. Well, My toga got caught on something and in my stupor I could not get myself loose and fell asleep with my legs dangling outside. I woke in the morning to my neighbor freeing me and shoving me inside the house while saying "go to bed you freak!".

ROTFLMO - you win!