The Cast:
Siggy Romulus : Narrator
Donovan Galatea : Joseph of Aramethea
Lynn Lippmann : Mary
Ryan Jade : The Ass(hat)
Death Grace : Innkeeper of the Bethlehem Star
Cyrus Apollo : The Three Wise Men
Juro Kothari
Darko Cellardoor
Baby Jesus : Christopher Omega
Narrator : And it came to pass that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that the world was to pay taxes, and that every man, woman, and child, should return to the place of their birth and a census be taken... And so went forth Joseph and his espoused, Mary, on an ass..
Ass(hat) : EYOOOOOOOOOORE
Joseph : Mary, If you're supposed to be my espoused, how come we never did the wild thing?
Mary : Sheesh! I told you already! I'm preggers.. the Angel Gabriel came down and told me that I was go through an immaculate conception.....
Joseph : Yeah yeah yeah... You told me, but I still don't understand why the Angel Gabriel looked a lot like David Valentino..
Narrator : Yes, thank you.. and so Joseph went up from Galilee, out of the City of Nazareth, unto Judea, unto the city which is called Bethlehem. Finding no place of comfort, they came to the Inn of the Bethlehem Star...
Innkeeper : NO JEWS!
Joseph : I beg your pardon?
Innkeper : You heard me, no Jews!
Joseph : But this is BETHLEHEM IN 0 BC!!!! How can you say that? Everywhere you look all you see is Jews! I have to strip naked and smear my body with chicken oil just to squeeze thorugh all the Jews!!!!!!
Innkeeper : I don't care - I own the land on which resides the Bethlehem Star, and as such I reserve to right to bounce and ban all those but good God(s) fearing Romans...
Joseph : You do realise this could be taken as hate speech?
Innkeeper : doesn't matter - I'm all full.... Well theres that manger round the back.
Joseph : A manger? That thing that looks a lot like a plywood cube with a poorly scripted roller door?
Innkeeper : Yeah that one!
Narrator : And so it was that Jospeh, Mary, and the Ass
Ass(hat): EEEEEEEyoREEEEEEE
Narrator : Shut up! Went to the manger under the light of a solitary star.. Following this same star were three wise men :
Three Kings : WE THREE KINGS HAVE TRAVELLED AFAR, ONE IN A TAXI, ONE IN A CAR, ONE IN SCOOTER, HOOTING THE HOOTER, FOLLOWING YONDER STAR!
Cyrus : Star of wonder, star so bright
Juro: Star of Beauty
Darko : Got a light?
Three Kings : Star of glory, thats the story, following yonder star.....
Mary : Are you three wise men?
Cyrus : No honey we're the Supremes! Wanna hear a tune? BABY LOVE, OH BABY LOVE! -- OF COURSE WE'RE THE THREE WISE MEN YOU STUPID BINT!!! Oh... nice toes!
Mary : Thank you! Oh, I see you've come bearing gifts!
Cyrus : Yeah Honey, I brought you some new clothes.... that rubbish you have is so -- blah! Oh, and these wings, the higher you fly the faster you go!
Juro : And I brought this House-In-A-Box, inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright.
Darko : and I brought this 'incense' *nudge nudge* here I'll light it for you! *sniff sniff* o fuk I am so high!
Mary : well thank you for the clothes, house, and hashi---incense.... I'll have to OW OW OW I GOTTA LAY DOWN!!!!! OOOOOOOOH JESUS!
>>>> POP <<<<
Jesus:
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state_entry()
{
llSay(0, "Hello World"
;}
Mary : Ahhhh ok.. time to sing a scared.... oh sorry I misread that... a sacred song of joy and brotherhood....
ALL : Joy to the world, the lord has come, let everyone rejoice... except for all you muslims, and all you heathen bastards.... no wickens no hindus.... hari krishnas or jews.. he's our god he's our god.. he's our god he's our god, he's our god, he's our god so just SOD OFF!
The End.
