Deep thought

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously


1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK . . . so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates.... it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Dearly Darling,

I just think you are posting to avoid going out into the rain on your bike....I'm tried of scraping paint.

What was it the Dolly Parton said?

"It takes a lot of money to look this cheap." Is that good enough to add to your list?

Ever Yours,

Mrs. Showdog Tiger

hehe...

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

*chuckle* *snort* I don't take life to seriously mostly..... takes too much effort!

What, no 42?