Hump Day !

Bobbitt Family Update
In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged
with ...................




A Misdewiener!

A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three very black and totally naked men sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.

"In fact," he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society."

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said: "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?"

"Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple.

"Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied.

"In fact, there's no African Americans depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner together in a
small tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember
the first time we had sex together over fifty years a go? We went
behind this tavern where you leaned against the fence and I made love to
you."Yes," she says, "I remember it well." Ok," he says, "How about
taking a stroll round there again and we can do it for old time's sake."
OoooooohHenry, you devil, that sounds like a good idea," she
answers.

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all
this,and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see
these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on
them so there's no trouble."

So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each
other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of
the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her
skirt, takes her knickers down and the old man drops his trousers. She
turns around and as she hangs on to the fence, the old man moves in.
Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman
has ever seen. They are bucking and jumping like eighteen-year-olds. This
goes on for about forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's hanging on to
her hips for dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable.
Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He
thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about
half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to
their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, still watching
thinks, that was truly amazing, he was going like a train.

I've got to ask him what his secret is. As the couple pass, he says
to them, "That was something else. You must have been having sex for
about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You must have had a fantastic
life together. Is there some sort of secret?"

The old man says, "fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Just think of what the guys friends will say. I think his new nickname may be "Tiny" lol

The old man says, "fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."


My favorite and my luck....