Lecktor Hannibal
YOUR MOM
Join date: 1 Jul 2004
Posts: 6,734
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10-05-2005 06:50
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like A Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the wholetime. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open,wet mat on floor, light & fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you.
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YOUR MOM says, 'Come visit us at SC MKII http://secondcitizen.net ' From: Khamon Fate Oh, Lecktor, you're terrible. Bikers have more fun than people !
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Cocoanut Koala
Coco's Cottages
Join date: 7 Feb 2005
Posts: 7,903
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10-05-2005 07:57
cute! coco
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Armath Severine
Teen Grid Ancient.
Join date: 7 Jul 2005
Posts: 282
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10-05-2005 10:07
hah. "Pee."
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Einsman Schlegel
Disenchanted Fool
Join date: 11 Jun 2003
Posts: 1,461
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10-05-2005 14:46
And a male can do all that in the shower in 5 minutes.
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Gabe Lippmann
"Phone's ringing, Dude."
Join date: 14 Jun 2004
Posts: 4,219
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10-05-2005 14:50
woo-woo! 
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go to Nocturnal Threads 
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Martin Magpie
Catherine Cotton
Join date: 13 Nov 2004
Posts: 1,826
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10-05-2005 14:59
From: Lecktor Hannibal Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint enhanced conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like A Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the wholetime. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open,wet mat on floor, light & fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you. do you work at the body shop by any chance? you know too much 
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Frostie Flora
Dilly-Dally Shilly-Shally
Join date: 27 May 2004
Posts: 526
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10-05-2005 17:20
I guess i'm not a woman or a man, my routine is way off track,
trip over cat if cat is not already in the shower trying to lick the walls Get in shower Fall asleep wake up before drowning like a chicken get out, wonder the wonders of the world while choking on my toothpaste listen to cats try to eat their way through the door, wait 5 minutes for it to sink in that its 4 AM, flop back into bed in a manly manner with leg and arm hanging off bed, get dogpiled by a giant 50 pound cat, fall asleep and forget to wake up until 1 PM,
Lather, Rinse repeat,
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