Banned For No Reason

Being a lesbian I used to enjoy dancing and met many new friends at one certain dance club.
After two years the owner wanted me as her gf, but I refused so her nasty attitude banned me from her club. I was upset and nearly left SL. Now I have my own girls club and the other club lifted the ban on me, only to find I was banned again, because one of her members danced at my club.

Be very honest, I think the owner should be banned herself from SL, because she is making girls want to leave SL (this has happened many times to others) All her ex GF's are banned and a few others. I believe that the rules of banning should be changed in SL. Ok, its fair enough to ejected if anyone who is being a pest but banning should go through SL to get their permission first, so there is no comeback on the owner.

We are all here to escape RL and many of us need to sometimes. Many people have good reasons from playing a game to illness or depression to escape the reality in life. To face a ban is very depressing, which I have discoved at no fault of my own. In RL I do suffer with depression and need SL to escape to. This is my second time I have been banned from this club and twice I have left SL. Why should others try to push you out?

Do you have any idea how many clubs there are in SL? Or the rate of churn of clubs? There are 2 simple answers to your dilemma:

1) Find another club.

*OR*

2) Start your own uber-cool club.

Problem solved.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I deal with depression daily and sometimes people in SL really do go out of their way to funk up your day. You just have to get past it and keep going. Haters are everywhere and they use whatever reason they need to justify being sub-human. Don't sweat it.

If Sl was to bring in this rule I for one would be very annoyed. I pay for my land therefore I have the right to decide who can and cant be on it. I am sorry that this "women" ( could be a RL man for all we know) has stuffed you about but really move on.

You dont really know this person so are they worth getting upset about ? As you said you have your own club and how does this person know who goes to yours and if they have a problem dont play into their hands. Move on enjoy the company of those who dont know this other person

QFT
I think dealing with people in Second Life can help us learn a few things that carry over into real life, one of which is to not take things personally. Another is not to take things too seriously. Good luck.

Yes. This is true.

But as she said, she deals with depression. That is something that falls way outside the realm of "not take things personally". It is hard when you are depressed or feeling a little down to not take personal attacks, being banned, et al. personally when all you may want to do is just have your SL experience with as little hate aimed your way as possible.

It is great advice. It just doesn't help with those of us that suffer from depression. It is kind of like someone smacking your thumb with a hammer and then telling you it shouldn't hurt. If you follow what i mean.

I understand - depression is a debilitating force to deal with.
I think a land owner should be able to do what she likes as long as it's within the TOS, though, so there's nothing else that I could say (although keeping my mouth shut might've been a better choice).

No, not at all Osprey.

You are totally right.

Complaining about being banned from private land in SL means the person has some toughening up to do to some degree. More importantly, they need to recognize that people can do with their land as they want, and if they are not wanted there, why care.

I always enjoy reading the advice you give. It is *always* short, concise, and clearly on point.

ok well i have this to say, you pay for the land so therefore you can ban who you wish just liek you can refuse service to anyone in rl, but it does get out of hand in sl.. I recently went to a shop to get a baby the owner was there and was pushing us to get her babies we had just started to look at babies and to be honest they were ugly babies so we nicely told her we were still looking around but we may be back.. we looked and wanted one more look when we went to go back we were banned from her land. why? because we didnt buy her babiethat is just insane.. i want to thank the owner of adorable babies for banning me..